Okay so my last few days have been really rough on me. I feel like all of sudden my world is not what I thought it was.

It seems some past events in my twenties still like to come back and haunt me. Meaning, It was explained to me that I  need to apologize for something I said many many moons ago, but when I said ok that’s fine but while were on the subject I would like one as well as it still bothers me as it does you; However they didn’t see it that way and got more upset with me..

I have felt so confused these past few days like I haven’t been in a long while. Totally stinks. I really don’t know what more to do. It just seems my job  is big inconvenience now and also now that the weather is warming up, “farming” seems to be really kicking my @ss more than anything. I can take an @ss beating but this nearly tops it all.

I literally felt like which way do I go, up- down…but then again which is up and which is down…UGH..

Seriously I’m not like what I use to be like when I was 20 and 23…I really have not much of any social life outside my job. Sure I try to get online and chat when I can but lately that seems to fall to the waste side as I’m told I’m on my computer too much. It seems like all my world these days have come to- Work, Work, Work and work more.

I’m not having a “pitty party”. UGH…I sometimes really hate not having my own place. At times it just totally sux @ss. Yes I have a roof over my head, Yes I don’t have huge bills to pay and Yes I have help watching my kids, BUT..theres some things that are just plain hard to handle. Living under parental rules for one (when you’re in your thirties)..

I’m venting I know I am. But really I feel so stuck..I’m working hard in my mind, and in others not hard enough..I’m so stressed out..and this blog probably sounds like a bunch of nothing…UGH